I will take the leap when I have enough savings. When I have enough credentials on my CV to fall back on if everything fails. I will start when I am in better shape, when I have fixed my teeth, my face. The list goes on.
These are excuses I have come across when talking about doing something bold.
Some of them are even mine.
And every single one comes down to the same underlying assumption.
You are waiting for someone’s permission.
Someone to give you the sign that the time is right. That you are good enough now to try. Because if you are not perfect and the stars are not aligned in your favor, you should not.
Said who, exactly? When and where was that decided?
The permission structure we grew up in
For most of our lives there has always been someone telling us what to do and how to do it.
Parents, teachers, peer pressure, bosses.
And that, more than anything, conditions us to believe that things can only happen if someone else gives us permission to try.
Think about it.
Our entire formation is built around external validation and approval. Grades that tell you if you are good enough. Managers who decide if you are ready for the next level. Institutions that hand you credentials to prove your worth.
We are trained from childhood to wait for someone else to confirm that we are allowed.
And this is important to notice: it is not a character flaw. It is conditioning.
Most people never stop to name it because they are too busy looking for the next person to give them the green light.
But the problems start the moment you realise you want something different.
Something that is yours.
Because then you realise that the permission you have been waiting for has to come from you. And that might actually be the hardest permission to get.
After all, you were never trained for leading and deciding. You were trained for listening and executing.
The two paths: control or be controlled
In its simplest form, there are two paths when it comes to making a living.
You go to work for other people and become an employee.
Or you create your own thing and work for yourself.
Yes, you can combine them, do one then the other, build something on the side. But in its essence, those are the options.
And each requires a completely different mentality.
When you work inside someone else’s company, you are always waiting for permission. You never carry the ultimate decision making power and responsibility.
And that can be both liberating and suffocating, depending on you.
Creating your own path means you are on your own. In the good moments and in the bad ones, which requires a completely different drive and mindset than anything you were trained for.
The identity gap nobody tells you about
So when you one day decide you want to jump from the first path to the second, it is much more than registering a legal entity and doing paperwork.
It is first and foremost a jump of identity.
To do the scary thing, you need to change. You need to become the version who dares to do these things.
And the gap between who you are today and who you need to become to actually pull it off is much bigger than any success story out there will prepare you for. Nobody really seems to document the part before that.
So here is roughly how it actually goes, from my own experience and what I have seen around me:
I have been thinking about this idea for what feels like forever. Maybe I should try. But first, what does my partner think? My mom? The people who follow me? That person I met once at a party ten years ago whose name I cannot even remember but who will definitely have an opinion.
Okay, who cares. If others can do it so can I. Let’s go.
I am so excited. The energy is there. The vision is clear. This is the moment.
Wait. There are so many things to figure out and I genuinely have no idea what I am doing. I will just go day by day. I can do this.
Nothing is moving. Everyone says no. I am tired. I think I am delusional. Where did I get this broken gene that makes me keep challenging myself. Should I get my old job back…
I think I might be ruining my life. What if this fails completely.
Oh, something is happening. Someone responded. What if it actually works the way I imagined.
I cannot afford to outsource that. I will have to figure it out myself.
I did it. Okay, I can do anything.
Next challenge. Next small win. Another obstacle. Another lesson…
And somewhere in between all of that, without noticing it, you launch.
While also realising you have created an enormous amount of responsibility alongside the opportunities you were chasing.
And then one day you look back and realise you are not quite the same person who started. Not because you planned to change. But because doing something genuinely hard in the face of uncertainty changes you whether you planned it or not.
That is the sequence nobody seems to talk about.
Because the reality is that doing something completely different, being responsible only to yourself, is a completely different game than the permission game you were trained to play your entire life.
And the identity gap you need to bridge to get there is many times bigger and more uncomfortable than any outcome people celebrate in their success stories suggests.
Or maybe I just missed the script? Also entirely possib
The only permission worth having
So the moral of the story is this.
You will never feel fully ready (girl please. everyone knows that).
Not at the beginning, not in the middle, and honestly not even after things start working.
And I have strongly came to a conclusion that the readiness is a myth. The right moment is not coming because it was never a moment to begin with. It is a decision.
But equally, trying is not an ultimatum.
It is rarely an irreversible choice. Most of the scary things we think will define us forever actually just define the next chapter, and chapters end and new ones begin whether we want or not.
So if the thing you want to try is reversible, and most things are, just go. The worst version of this is that you learn something and redirect (yes yes again we know but it’s not so simple..). The best version is that it works and you wonder why you waited so long.
TL;DR: The only permission worth having is yours. And the only way to get it is to stop waiting to be ready and give it to yourself.
-Maria
I am currently in the early weeks of building a consumer brand in Zürich and have also co-founded a digital marketing agency for financial services and health clinics. This Substack covers the story of that entrepreneurial journey every Sunday. On Wednesdays I write about style, mindset, career, and everything that builds the life alongside the business. If that resonates, I would love to have you follow along.