That resistance you feel right before you change

And why it means you are on the right track

Think about a moment when you decided to do something completely new to yourself.

A new hobby, a new relationship, moving abroad, starting a business. Something you had not done before and which would on some level change your character or how others perceive you.

You are so excited about whatever you are about to do, but at the same time you just cannot keep yourself consistent or accountable. There always seems to be something more urgent to do or somewhere else to be. Even when you know in the back of your head that is not really the case.

It is as if your brain is saying: no, don’t do that, you don’t know how, that is uncomfortable and we don’t feel at ease with this. Let’s go back to the familiar.

And I think that is the most dangerous moment when you are about to do something character changing.

Yes, you can dance with those feelings for a while. After all, your nervous system needs some time to get used to the new idea and the new identity the change brings along. That is fair.

But equally, it is exactly in those moments when you need to stop listening to the feeling of unease for too long. Instead, embrace it. Take it as a sign that yes, this is exactly the feeling you should have when you are about to do something worth doing.

I have faced that feeling so many times.

When moving abroad for the first time, which was honestly the most nervous system resetting experience I can remember.

When starting the gym and Pilates for the first time many years ago.

When realising that after my law degree I was not going to continue practicing law but instead do what was more in line with my actual interests.

And then maybe the most brain chemistry changing of all: deciding to set up a business and let go of the mental reliance on corporate stability, which I think is less and less real anyway and is a dangerous thing to build an identity around when you have no control over it.

But here is the spoiler: whenever you do something that challenges your thinking and your status quo, you will most likely grow enormously and become more the person you actually are. At least that is what I believe.

So to whoever is thinking about doing something that would change them: do it. Block the time. Create the space. Set up a system that keeps you accountable. Force yourself if you have to. And most importantly, commit to it for a trial period and do not judge the results before it is over.

Which is exactly what I am doing here with this Substack, currently sitting at around six subscribers, trying not to judge the outcome but just committing to the process and genuinely loving it.

And I bet that after the trial you will first of all be very proud of yourself, which already makes you more confident. But you will also have something to show, something to talk about, and that alone makes you one step more interesting than you were before. Not that you weren’t already but you get the point.

Let’s do it.